love and relationships

mother ship

Oil and water. Of all the relationships out there, there may be no other as complex as the one between mothers and their daughters. Those far more renowned and expert in the subject than I am have researched and written about this dynamic; my own experience is just that — my own. But it is […]

picture this

Documenting our lives these days — and storing those memories — has become as easy as reaching for our phones. Long gone are the days of actual photo albums (with those lift-up plastic sheets and stick-on pages), of slide carousels (endless hours of summer-vacation viewing), of home movies shot on Kodak Super 8 cameras (“Come […]

state of the union

I used to say, when I lived in New York, that I knew the subway system like the back of my hand — the alphabet salad of IRT, BMT, A through F, R and Q; the numbered choices 1 through 9; the uptown, the downtown, the Grand Central shuttle — it was a way of […]

just seventeen

I Saw Her Standing There by the Beatles. That’s what was playing on that June day 45 years ago — at the mailboxes at Cornell — when B. and I met as high-school kids. And for all these years, whenever he hears that song on the car radio, he never turns it off until it’s […]

give me a sign

As probably every half of a close couple can attest, there is some kind of secret signal we use to communicate with our partner — in full view of others, when we want no one else to know what we’re saying. Whether it’s signaling that a) it’s time to leave the Horowitz-Solomon wedding reception; b) […]

for better or for verse

I love my husband. Maybe because we waited to marry until we were a little older (just on the cusp of 40), we both kind of knew what was important to us in a partner. And maybe because we haven’t had kids ourselves (although goodness knows we sometimes act as if we were five), we’ve […]

with friends like these

There’s an old joke that goes, “You can pick your friends. You can pick your nose. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose.” Okay, I know, it’s gross (but that doesn’t mean it’s not also funny). Then there’s the adage that says, “You can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.” And at […]

beyond a reasonable doubt

Something odd happens when you live with a lawyer (at least it did to me). Your reasoning skills tend to sharpen. Your arguing skills (not as in fighting, as in making a point) may become heightened. And your ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat can become both more frequent and more satisfying. […]

two on the aisle

Every woman has a different idea of romance. To some, it’s roses and champagne. To others, it’s diamonds and a getaway for two to Fiji. To still others, it’s George Clooney (oh, come on, like you’ve never thought that). And while all that stuff is nice, to me, real romance is more nuanced, more personal, […]

getting fresh

Throw a dart out there and you’ll find a gazillion marriage experts and a gazillion-plus articles and self-tests about the secrets to a happy marriage and how yours measures up. After two decades of marriage, I only claim to be an expert on B.’s and mine, but I do have some tips to share about […]