While B. and I were happily enjoying Chinese takeout the other night, it occurred to me to wonder whether famous people order in too. And then I thought, how much fun would it be to order in takeout for a bunch of famous people — at our table? And then I wondered about whom I would invite. And now here you go — my Szechuan Six (add B. and me, and it’s my Eggroll Eight).

Alex Trebek. The man knows a lot about a lot. His foreign accents are pitch perfect. And who could resist the chance to say, “I’ll take the lo mein for $200, please, Alex.”

Robert Redford. One of my favorite actors. A true movie star. But with a conscience, a brain, a heart. And when he leaves after dinner I can utter those immortal words: “See ya, Hubbell … er, Bob.”

Ellen DeGeneres. Funny. Brave. Smart. Brave. Compassionate. Brave. And maybe she could show me some of those dance moves.

Ann Curry. A true journalist. And come on, wouldn’t you want to hear her side of the Today story?

Kobe Bryant. Look up “will” and “determination” in the dictionary, and you’ll find his photo. Can you spell e-x-t-r-a-o-r-d-i-n-a-r-y? (How about L-a-k-e-r-s  t-i-c-k-e-t-s?)

Jane Fonda. She’s achieved fame (not all of it good), she lights up the screen, she’s shared her life with exceptional men (her dad, Henry, and her ex, Ted), she’s inspired women everywhere to live healthier. And, I want to look like her when I grow up. (Plus, she and Bob can reminisce about their days making Barefoot in the Park and Electric Horseman.)

Here’s how I see the evening: Alex can order with an authentic accent; Bob can film and narrate the dinner; Ellen can place a call to Michelle Obama asking if we can order anything for her; Ann can do a piece about sharing meals as a means of global understanding; Kobe can shoot 3-pointers with one hand holding chopsticks; Jane can show us all how to work off the calories.

Fortune cookies for everyone.

© 2013 Claudia Grossman