If you’re like me, it still rattles you that Bewitched changed Darrins on us. From Dick York to Dick Sargent. Without so much as a nose wiggle (or maybe that’s how they did it).  Changes are necessary, sure, but change can be a little uncomfortable from time to time. Just ask Coke. Or any woman whose can’t-live-without-it lipstick shade has been discontinued. Soft drinks and lip color aside, following are some changes that I’d choose to change back.

Network news anchors standing. Hey, you’re making me anxious. It’s as if you can’t wait to get out of my living room. Do us all a favor and sit down. Uncle Walter (Cronkite) never stood.

Rearranging my go-to store yet again. Just when I started to get used to electronics over here, bath towels over there, and Rice Krispies five aisles over, you’ve gone ahead and changed your floor plan yet again. So now when I want batteries I get bats, when I want towels I get toys, and when I want cereal I get serious agita. Yeah, I’ve got your Snap, Crackle, Pop right here.

Changing book covers to the movie tie-in version. Yes, I know it’s a way to sell more books by capitalizing on the release of the motion picture. But it’s so, well, pedestrian. I prefer reading the book before seeing the movie. I prefer the original book cover. And, yes, I prefer remaining the book snob that I am.

Self check-outs. Wait, let me see if I have this straight. You want me not only to shop in your store but also to do the job of your cashiers by checking out my items myself? Given that self check-out machines too frequently require assistance (“Please wait while we call for a manager or until your ice cream melts and you have nothing to pay for”); replace the jobs of actual human beings who need a paycheck; and often tell you that they a) don’t accept cash at this time; b) don’t accept ATM cards at this time or c) don’t accept you at this time, I’d rather wait for the cashier who at least smiles at me.

Smart, positive change can be good, healthy, life enhancing. Change without thinking it through is unsettling at best, unbelievably wrong at worst, and unreasonable in the middle.

Exact change only.

ⓒ 2016 Claudia Grossman