finding the funny
’twas the plight before christmas …
… and all through the house there was panic because someone had sent out online invitations with the wrong info. “Join us for cocktails and dinner on New Year’s Eve,” the invites should have read. But no. Whoever sent them out (you know who you are) made one teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy error. Instead of New Year’s Eve […]
i see london, i see france
If you listen to country music, you may know a song called Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, about a woman who manages to lose pieces of her wardrobe (her shoes, an earring, her jacket, a contact lens) whenever she goes out with her friends and drinks tequila. I, alas, have no such excuse. It […]
an affair to remember
For those of us who grew up Jewish in New York during the ’60s and ’70s, the word “affair” had two meanings. The first — that illicit thing going on between the very married Mr. Goldfarb and the divorcée who had moved in next door. (Apparently she called on him whenever she needed her refrigerator […]
up on the roof
Dear Guy on the Roof: I’m sorry if our trying to sleep (in the apartment just below where you are hanging out on the roof with your date at 2 a.m.) is intruding on your privacy, but I can’t help but overhear every word you are saying in full voice (as well as the clomping […]
tell-tail heart
I love to do dog voices. Seriously. I became proficient putting voice to a dog’s thoughts (that is, my best guess at those thoughts) with our dog, Ilsa, an Aussie-spaniel mix who was incredibly smart and loving. And although Ilsa was female, I’d express her thoughts in a gruff Brooklyn-accented voice — sort of like […]
romancing the stones
Hey guys, here’s a news flash. Unless you’re Michael Phelps or Ryan Lochte (or Mark Spitz in 1972), we women don’t really want to see you in a tiny swimsuit (you know the ones I’m talking about). In fact, even if you are Michael or Ryan (or Mark back in the day), most of us […]
cracking myself up
Let’s face it. I’m not a country girl. I grew up in New York, went to college in Boston, and now live in LA. While you’ll hear me complain along with everyone else about the noise, the traffic, and the crowds, the bottom line is that I’m good for about a week trying to sit […]
what’s on tap?
In my ongoing quest to discover the star inside, I found myself, one day a few years ago, signing up for a series of evening tap dance classes. The online description was perfect – eight classes, one hour each, targeted at beginners, start whenever you want. All that was required was a pair of tap […]
horsefeathers
When God was handing out athletic grace, I was on the other line. And while I’m well aware of my strengths — including an imagination as active as any star athlete’s workout — when it comes to moving through life, let’s just say I’m kind of like Lucy in a Marx Brothers movie. There was […]
baby steps
With the idea of finding something new and fun to do (and after having watched Dirty Dancing for like the millionth or so time), I signed us up for swing-dance lessons (non-dirty dancing, but it looked like fun anyway). Yes, B. was agreeable; no, neither of us was quite prepared for what awaited us in […]
rice on your head 