I once had a friend say that the attraction between my husband and me was based on the fact that we tend to freak each other out. “What drew you to each other,” she painstakingly explained, “is that you work each other up and stress each other out. Your stress feeds off his and his off yours. And that is the secret to your attraction.”
No, really. Because I thought it was the bond, the willingness to communicate, the respect, the support, the passion.
Truth time. Do we work each other up? We do. Are we genetically predisposed to doing that? We are. (Add one Jewish mother each to the equation and let’s face it, no matter how much therapy you may go through, ain’t nothing going to change those genetics.) Are we neurotic? Are you kidding?
On the other hand, are we each other’s biggest cheerleader, best friend, unconditional love, and greatest source of laughter? Without a doubt. Is there anyone else out there with whom either of us feels so familiar that our wavelengths are waving in the same direction? Nope. And is coming home to the other after a tough day out in the world the greatest comfort each of us could wish for? Yup.
And there it is. If familiarity leads to comfort; if comfort leads to support; if support is the perfect environment for love and attraction to be nurtured and to grow … then checking the locks six times; obsessing about whether that thing in the rice was just a speck of pepper that only looked like it might have had wings; and being certain that an unanswered phone means the party on the other end is dead – that’s all kind of cute.
Let’s face it. Neurotic, erotic, narcotic, exotic. If it works for you, it works.
© 2012 Claudia Grossman